Alan's Story

Haha, I was trying to block that memory...

Ok, here goes, It was a night boat, around 9pm I think and it was winter, so
yeah, nice and chilly out on the water. the boat (Ome Jan) was almost full and
there were 3 American college guys on board, nice and obnoxious and very
stoned. (Seeing as they were stoned and not drunk I thought, what the hell
and let them on). So we are chugging out of Bloemgracht, I'm pointing out the
Anne Frank house and a plastic bag wraps itself around the propeller and
stops the engine.

So I’m leaning over pulling the bag off one piece at a time as its wrapped nice
and tight and one of the cool guys thinks it would be funny to give my foot a
tap. Whether he meant for me to end up in the drink or not I’m not sure, maybe
he wanted to show off to his buddies and play a joke on them, but like I said
before, they were real jerks so, maybe he did mean it, anyway, I go headfirst
into Prinsengracht, I swallow a nice mouthful of Amsterdam’s finest and pop
up spluttering and gasping like a man that’s just been thrown into a canal.

Then it got worse, So everyone’s freaking out, I’m trying to pull myself back
into the boat and I’m not sure if she drifted or if my kicking contributed, but
Ome Jan ended up in the path of a rondvaart boat. You would think that by the
way everyone was carrying on onboard, the rondvaart captain would have
stopped... so yeah, somehow I ended up looking directly at the front end and
had enough time to grab a lungful of air and dive down. I didn't swim under the
boat and pop up on the other side, it was more a diagonal line so I wouldn't
get hit, when I came up, I had ingested even more crappy water and was
absolutely wrecked. I literally did not have the energy to be angry, I just pulled
up at the little dock there and said "get off" then it was a cold quiet ride back.

After everyone had left and id tied the boat up, I emptied my guts over the side,
only to have some more drunken idiots yell at me. Wasn't my best night...

I was a bit sick for the next couple of weeks, but nothing serious.

At least I now have a kickass story.

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